For the upcoming Amgen Tour of California I will get to see all of the things I missed out on last year because of work, and write about them for a ‘tech’ entry every night. It’s kind of the best of both world’s: I get to play tech geek, and I get to see the race….which is what I thought I had gotten myself into two years ago.

The MissingSaddle.com crew will be establishing a new tech center. Said ‘forum’ will allow me to seek the new goods, talk to mechanics about their favorite new products and techniques, inquire from riders their impressions of the new ‘09 gear….and most importantly create a dialogue among readers. The aim is to find an avenue of talking about products in a constructive manner, without overlooking the downsides or limitations of products.  As well, I’ll be making the attempt to forward questions and concerns towards product developers, in hopes that the cycling world can get a glimpse at the thought processes involved in designing new products.

Please keep you eyes peeled for the upcoming Tour of California blog entries, rider interviews, and tech commentary from Missingsaddle.com!  And please, give us your tech questions…

I used to be a smoker.  Actually, at one point in my collegiate career I was two packs a day. You see, my good friend Jeff give me my first cig when I was 15 (that’s what our best friends do).

I remember it like it was yesterday.  I used to get a ride home from High School with Jeff because we where great friends, would partake in recreational activities together, and of course lived close to one another.  Jeff gave me this black cig, from a local hippie shop-he called them Russians.  They were the type of expensive cig that only a non-smoker would smoke…like $4 a pack, and that was back in ‘94.  I just bummed and bummed for many months until I finally inhaled-at which point I immediately b-lined to the head shop to pick up my own pack.  It was an awesome buzz!!!  And I had to have it often, so I simply couldn’t rely on my afternoon rendezvous in the ‘89 Ford Probe.  So I enjoyed and enjoyed, and nobody ever knew.

After leaving home for college at the University of Missouri, I found myself in a sea of smokers.  In general, the bible-belt has always supported the tobacco industry, and made sure to make up for all the areas in the country that didn’t do their fare share.  So ALL the people I hung out with were smokers, but I was King.  I had to go higher, faster, farther than all the others….some call it an addictive personality-I merely call it ‘doing it right’.  My Dad always said “anything worth doing is worth doing right”.  By the middle of my first year at school, I was two packs deep.  Rough.

Then came bicycles.  When I was 24, I purchased my first road bike.  The following day I entered my first crit.  I proceeded to cut a mane of hair that ran halfway down my back, and quit smoking cigs that day.  Yeah, a dedicated long-hair prior to bike racing

Please excuse the pause in my post, I have to climb into my tower-my ivory tower-in which only Nick Reistad can communicate with me (via coffee cans and string….but not just any coffee cans, really expensive coffee cans….and invisible string).  More to come regarding my tower.

So I beaten the cigs smoking, but I’ve never mentioned why I REALLY quit….money.  At one pack a day for roughly 7 years=$5100, and at two packs a day for a year=$1460 totaling $6570.  Who can afford that???  Well thanks to my favorite international airports, I can proceed to gain my manhood back…and a healthy case of ahstray-mouth at the same time….merely for the cost of a plane ticket!

Hartsfield smoker room

This is where people come to die…or try to die.  My iPhone camera sucks so I have to tell you about the warning sign on the window.  It says “this is where people come to die”.  BUt in reality it should say “this is where people come to save money”!  I don’t even have to buy smokes to get my buzz.  Although you can’t really see it, there’s enough smoke in there to supply a small commune for a week.  That’s more than enough for me.  Kelly begged me not to go in, but I felt it such a good deal (buzz for free) that I had to….I HAD TO.  That was three days ago-still buzzin!

Smoking ‘aint cool anymore.  Let me elaborate: Denis Leary-famous smoker=not cool anymore, Marlboro Man-famous smoker-dead=not cool anymore, Kate Moss-4 packs a day-not cool anymore.  Point proven…so why not quit?  Because it’s convenient!  Thus, the DEATHROOM.  At your local international airport, keep your eyes peeled for the deathroom.  Because a true smoker cannot go roughly two hours without a fix, your favorite airport has installed a room specifically for said ‘fein, with a handy automatic door to let them in and out with little or no effort.  AWESOME!!!  It’s like getting 10X the dose, in one quick sitting.

So I kind of gag at the smell of smokes now, but in all reality I could care less if people choose that for themselves.  I can only  hope  my tax dollars pay for treatment of a smoker…

Reistad, you need to add another floor to your tower…I’m leaving you behind

Be nice to him, or her.  Hopefully him, cause girls don’t know what they’re doing with wrenches in their hands!**

Even though I’m not turning many wrenches lately, I feel like every mechanic inside the walls of a local shop will thank me for giving a big shout out to all those who feel like taking their day’s worth of shit out on a guy behind the counter…  I can assure you, if you’re a cyclist in need of mechanical support, it does you no good to piss off the guy behind the counter!!

So consider the following before entering your favorite bike shop:

-The person you are speaking to is a professional…until they prove otherwise

-He/She typically appreciates a bit of respect, much like you would give to any professional

-Unless you spoke previously to the person with whom you are currently communicating, don’t assume anything.

-If you plan on doing something, plan on doing something….  I once had somebody make this really great comment to me:  A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part, or something like that.  And although I would never say that to a customer, there’s a lot to be said about it-and I wish I could get away with saying it….often

-Lastly, it’s just bikes….so be nice and wear a smile on your face when you go to your LBS

**Once upon a time I worked with a female mechanic….and she was not only a great mechanic, but an incredible manager!!!  As well, ALL LBShops could benefit from having a bit more estrogen around

It’s official, I have retired from the life of a mechanic on the road.  I know how many of you have been holding your breath, waiting and wondering what my next move in life will be.  So without further ado….I’m quitting….that’s what I’m doing.  My decision is partially because I’m really good at it, quitting that is.  As well, I have to admit to myself that the world of pro cycling is only so fruitfull.  I had this expectation of there being lots of fun, and hanging out with the guys, but as it turns out it takes a certain type of mechanic to have much fun…a drunk one.  Seriously though, I had a blast with Danny and the guys.  I already kind of miss the travel, but then I remember the workload and I don’t miss any of it.

So having moved away from wrenching on the road, I’m now GM of this shop in ATL called Peachtree Bikes. It’s working well, as I’ve fortunately gotten to deal with another cool boss.  I’ll be doing some tech stuff for the guys here at missingsaddle eventually…

But what this REALLY means is that my time for social commentary has significantly increased.  I happen to have a beef from my trip this evening to Whole Foods, and later amplified by my return home to my parking garage.  This is a simple concept, and I’m sure there are lots of you out there who can help me out in coming up with the bill that needs to be sent to legislature.

YOU SHOULD ONLY BE ENTITLED TO DRIVE AN EXPENSIVE VEHICLE IF YOU ARE CAPABLE OF PARKING IT.  I’ll expand upon this idea and say that there should be a scale of determining how good of a driver you are, not just in terms of parking…and the corrosponding financial classification of vehicle that you have earned.  Annual income out the window-I call it the rule of subjective affordability.

Seriously, I saw a string of vehicles at Whole Foods that practically made my blood boil.  The way I see it, my groceries could be a hell of a lot more affordable if WF hadn’t wasted their money painting lines in the parking lot!

Are you that unaware, or are you just that important???  If you are missing that part of the modern brain that allows you to percieve your surroundings, well then I should probably rethink commuting by bike to work.  On the other hand, if you are just that important….well I probably shouldn’t get into the entitlement thing because it truly pisses me off.  I’m not really used to city life!  But when I have my days off and am out-and-about running errands, only to witness this overwhelming reoccurance of disappointment, well I just think somebody should be out there policing this stuff.  It should be like Gran Tourismo (which I haven’t played since ‘01..so it may not be this way anymore), but we should all have to start with a Honda FIT, and work our way up through the ranks.  I swear, 90% of ATL would still be driving FITs.

That is all….

Look closely…

In all fairness, the closest Jittery Joe’s is almost 3,000 miles away.

The team picked up a new sounier…

I think Sanderson has the hots for her?  Just a rumor…

Chinese interior decorating…

Chinese race radio…

I lost 10lbs.  I ate MacDonald’s for the first time in over 4 years.  I ate lots of j-beans.  I got bird-flu and sars simultaneaously.  I had altitude head and body-aches.  I complained about all of these issues to anybody who would listen….and I did so often, even if they didn’t speak english.

In the world of pro-team mechanics, there is one constant in terms of being a quality tech…organization.   I regularly spend time making a college-level attempt at being organized.  This actually happens everyday I’m on the road.  However, I have Beast to contend with.  Beast is tough to keep organized.  Remember Beast…

The byproduct of a lack of said organization= making work for one’s self.

While the team was racing in Arkansas for two weeks, I had a brief lull between races which allowed me to catch up on things.  Because organizing your equipment can sometimes be boring and tedious, I opted to spice things up a bit.  SO, I thought to myself, “self, now would be a good time to make some work for yourself”….and so I did.

I ran over Mike Lange’s bike.  This is what Mike Lange’s bicycle looks like when it gets run over by a two ton Ford duallie…

Frontal….

YUP, that’s a $1600 rear wheel.

Bikes don’t normally have any ‘twist’ to them, in case you were wondering.  Although this aerodynamic rotation of the tubing is a very nice feature of this particular bike, I made work for myself.  If you asked what my attitude was like after this ordeal, you’d get a pretty consistent answer from all those present.  I tend to send off this “don’t talk to me right now” vibe.  I have no idea what that is supposed to mean?

So, want to be a solid mechanic?  Don’t make work for yourself.  Simple.  Make sure the bike is secured to the roof properly.  Simple.  Don’t run over it on the highway.  (NOTE:  no one was harmed in the making of this presentation).

On the other hand, how many people can say they’ve locked up a 2ton duallie at 75mph in the middle of the highway trying to avoid a doomed $4K bike?  That’s right…

I was asked by the guys at missingsaddle.com back at the Tour of Cali to put together a blog, from the perspective of a team mechanic.  It’s taken this long to get things together, mostly due to my own procrastination.  Honestly, I kept thinking that what few things I had to say about cycling would be of any interest to…well, anybody.

Fortunately however, for the benefit of the entire world I have changed my mind, expressed my ego and found that it’s absolutely necessary for all the missingsaddle.com readers to be enlightened to my life.  Seriously, what could be any more entertaining than reading race reports,  stories about the next race….or better yet, a common training day?  Stories of being exhausted, greasy, and what it feels like to do the same thing-day after day…  That’s exactly what people need!

Actually, I’m hoping in the deepest of my heart that this blog becomes the forum for Mike Jones and Bird to nest for a while.  I think I’d truly feel like somebody if those two would give me a bit of affirmation by being a part of my blog

My boss…

Mike Lange this is for you….

Some of you may know Mike.  He likes guns, and killin’ stuff.  I think it’s makes him a better cyclist….and future mass assasin.

Make it Easy to Get the Tires On/Off
Two secrets that can make it much easier to get a tire on and off the rim are to use a thin rim strip inside the rim (I’m not talking about its width but about its thickness: a good one is the ROX rim strip), and to use a tube that’s one size smaller in width than the tire you’re using. For example, if you use a 700 x 25C tire, use a 700 x 20C tube.  
 

Stand Up Your Road Rig
When you get a rear flat on your pavement pounder, instead of laying the bike on the ground after you’ve removed the wheel, try standing it on its front wheel. Just set the bike so the front wheel is on the ground and rotate the rest of the bike upward. When it’s almost vertical, the frame will touch the brake supporting the bike. This won’t work on all bikes and you may have to move the bike a bit to find the balance point. But it looks cool when it works and it keeps the bike nice and tidy. 
 
Always Carry Boots
Boots are tire patches (not to be confused with tube patches). Boots are used when you ride over some glass or swipe a sharp rock and put a gash in your tire. If you just put in a new tube, when you pump it up, it’ll expand through the hole and KERPLOW! explode. Bummer. But, if you’re packing a few 1- x 2-inch boots (made of any tough material such as denim or nylon or sail cloth), during tire installation you can slip one between the tube and tire and you’ll be rolling again (though the tire will have a bulge, the tube should stay inside long enough to get you home).  
 
Pump Right and Save the Valve
Presta valves are relatively delicate and they can break right off if you’re not careful when pumping up a tire with a frame-mount pump. To prevent this, reinforce the valve while pumping by holding the end of the pump with part of your hand and at the same time wrapping a finger around a spoke and resting your thumb on top of the tire. (If your hands are small, you may have to do one or the other.) Just do your best to support the valve so that when you’re inflating the tire, the valve is not taking the brunt of your pumping force.